first day debrief.

Well, we survived my first day! But I’ll b honest, I had to wait for the coffee to kick in this morning to write this. I was TIRED.

First of all, Annie did great. Of course she did. I missed her so much, and didn’t get to put her to bed. BUT, lucky for me (ha!) she was up at midnight and I fed her because that’s what we do lately. Reverting back to when she was 2 months old. That’s another blog.

So. back to me.

I loved it! I mean, I am completely overwhelmed, and felt like my brain was going to explode- but I could see how I will love it. 

So, thanks for all the encouragement. It has been so incredible and I will lean on it for the next 6 weeks for certain. Pray that I will just hunker down and learn what I need to- that my brain would become a mighty sponge!!! 

Keep loving these Fall days…..I am.

me and my girl.

Josh asked me this morning what it was like to have a such a little person watch my every move. terrifying, I say.

I start my new job this week. I am so excited, but I am sad to leave this little girl. For 6 weeks, on Tues, Thurs, and Sat- I’ll be working for 12 HOURS. So, I’ll feed her in the morning, and if I am lucky, I will get to lay her down to sleep.

It’s just 6 weeks, right?

classic annie

This is Annie’s safe place. Thumb in mouth. Hand holding neck. Last night, at our 1 a.m. “let’s hang out some”, she was laying in my lap- thumb in mouth, but pinching my neck…..The things you do for love.

because to do lists are more fun if they are in pink.

well.

it’s late on monday. I just finished my last emergency appendectomy. yay. yay. yay.

It’s was actually a nice night. I felt great all night. All of my cases went smoothly. Of course they would. on my last night.

But that’s ok. I am glad I ended on a good note. I’ll miss my friends there- though I will only be two floors above them!

I am getting so excited about my new job! I must share how the stars keep aligning…

I knew that part of the deal with taking this job, is that it would involve at least 6-8 weeks of training full time (3 12’s per week). I was fine with that- but of course was immediately filled with anxiety about how I would manage childcare for Annie.

Well- it’s a longish story, but the gist is that I found a graduate student at ORU who can work every Tuesday and Thursday for the next 6 weeks. She can come to my house at 6 in the morning, and stay until Josh gets home. She’s from a large family, smart, just finished a nanny job with another family, very involved with chaplaincy program at ORU. Anyway- I just could not be more pleased with this scenario. Of course, I wish I didn’t have to leave her those two days (the other day I will work will be on Saturday). But I am so glad she will be able to stay in our home. so glad.

My nurse manager was able to pair me a preceptor who also works on Tues and Thursday- so it really is just amazing how this is all working out. It just seems meant to be.

For Now, what seems meant to be, is me, finding my pillow. seeing that my child will be awake in 4-5 hours. And that’s a whole other blog post. how my child’s waking hour keeps creeping up earlier and earlier….

 

 

sleep

I slept last night. for 8 glorious hours. We ALL needed that. trust me.

Now the funny thing is that my sleep began somewhere around 7:45. I was wide awake at 4 this morning. Fed the dog.

Josh was awake, too. So we talked about my new job. how happy I was. It was early, but I was rested and felt really good about things.

That’s been a long time coming.

So, if you have read this blog for any length of time, you know, YOU KNOW, that there has been an ongoing battle with my nursing career. And what did I learn? I learned that I should have listened to my gut. that thing that made me smile when I did my OB rotation when I was all of 20 years old. But I didn’t. I felt scared- scared of field of nursing that felt so far from my experience. I was single. YEARS away from children. I felt immature.

And maybe I was. So, I worked for heart surgeons for the next 10 years. Some nice, some not so nice. It was hard, long hours. Stressful.

This year I changed it up a bit and started working in General Surgery. Same story. More stress and anxiety and little appreciation.

And then there is the photography business. It’s been doing great, and I enjoy it. But there is alot of pressure to make that happen, and no guarantee that it will every month- and like most things in the creative realm- it loses its luster when it becomes attached to money. I love photography. I want to keep loving it. I don’t want to lean on it so much that I resent it. 

And so, like I do every couple of months, I look for nursing jobs. I have interviewed for other jobs- all leaving me unsettled. 

Last week, I reluctantly looked again on my hospital’s website. There were two openings in the Well baby/Special Care Nursery. One of was part-time nights. Perfect.

Now, the bigger hurdle- how to convince a Nurse Manager to hire a seasoned Surgical Nurse. These typically do not attract the same kind of nurse.

But I tried anyway. I wrote a very heart felt letter. I explained how having a child had really changed my focus. How I felt like I could be excited about being a Nurse again- practicing in an area more suited to my gifting. 

She called me that day. I interviewed 4 days later. Day 6 I got the job.

I don’t say this to toot my own horn, but the nurse manager told me yesterday that she had interviewed many people for this position, but she felt like I was the perfect fit.

I don’t know what you call this. How are decisions match up with God’s plan for us. I believe firmly in our own personal will, our choices. And I don’t know how- but God mysteriously asserts his will, too. There are alot of things I don’t get these days or understand- but for whatever reason, this came to be, and I am utterly thankful.

I read blogs all the time about women trying to conquer their fears, being brave, asking for help, etc….I want to thank them, because it was their voices that helped me write that letter, and make the phone calls, and stay in the game.

so thank you.

drum roll…

I got the job!

10 months

well, she’s 9 months in this photo, but she looks about the same:)

Annie is getting so big! She is pulling up on everything. Saying and waving”bye-bye”, “mum and mumma”, we have a documented “yewow” (yellow)…credited to her leapfrog learning center, “dat” (daddy or when she is pointing to something- not sure which!)

I caved in and bought American sliced cheese ( i find the stuff disgusting), but she LOVES it. oh well. good for her. She’ll be in good company, it being “american” cheese and all…

She loves music- has just started “singing” along. very cute.

As for the rest of us- it’s been a challenging month. We’ve had lots of family and friends going through some difficult things. The book of Romans says to weep with those who weep. So here we are. It’s just been that kind of month.

BUT, we as a family are doing well. Still wading through the left-overs from this past year. There seems to be a clearing ahead. I hope their will be a path there. No doubt there will be.

AND lastly- interview went well. Going to observe tonight for a few hours. Lots of logistics to work out if I actually DO get the job- but I am choosing to not worry about that right now. One hour at a time.

peace to you my friends.

 

 

The Peace of Wild Things

My husband read this at his uncle’s memorial yesterday. I love this poem.

 

update

interview this tuesday. say  a prayer that I will ask good questions, think of all the particulars, etc….

until then, I leave you with a slightly adorable, very gum filled photo of the husband and I on our belated anniversary trip. Do you see those gums? I have no upper lip. oh well…